hmm...

The truth of the matter is I have almost given up fighting. I dont want any thing in life as it is, Ofcourse which means that I might want later on. I just accept things as it is. I dont get angry about. I dont feel any righteous anger. The only reason I can give is.. Everything seems pointless, most acute of these being my own existance. I know that for the past four years I havent really worked on anything except my projects. Even there It was only a lil better than half hearted.

The funny thing is its all tangled heirarchies and infinite loops.. The thought cant go in so called straight lines and logical paths. Because for any logical conclusion there are so many intervening steps. So theoritically if you start thinking logically you wont end. Oh maybe then it would be easier to redifine logic. Yeah right thats what everyone does. I am not a rational being. I am highly irrational. As for the facts.. Theres nothing more irrational than a human being.

The Superiority of our so called intelligence itself might bring about the fall of our race. If it comes to that..

In all probability I will face the new phase of my life with the same detachment as I did for my engineering course. I didnt feel anything for the course I was doing. There was no fucking passion in it except for the project. Yes I enjoyed doing the project.

If the above situation arises, Its anybodies guess how things will end up.

I have a stupid habit of saying just the opposite of what I would be blabbing till then. I am not gonna break it. On the other side it might be just that my interest are too varied or not too deep into anything.. its like I scan the surface of everything. once I know how something works thats it for me. I am not interested in it anymore.. Or is that the truth.. I dont know..

So I await the day when I can find all about myself. and then. :). I will have supreme boredom in my hands. That will be a exquisite experience If I will have it that is.