Thursday, November 16, 2006

Ha

Sometimes I feel that I am too much of a paradox, so much so that I neither want to live or die. I feel I am at a crossroads, I have to decide some things pertinent to the life as others see it. As for me most of the time I feel anything will do as long as I am alive and after that I dont need to care do I ?

My mind is so totally blank. Feel so sobre. But then aint I laughing at myself and this world in which I live in. Yes I am :). Is laughter my weakness or strength.
Somewhere down the line I forgot to cry. Now I can only laugh at anything. I cant even feel sad about that. I can only laugh at even this. But sometimes such unidimensionality of emotions might make it boring for you.Yes it does.

But then do I want to change. I dont think so. In my life I never had a problem or rather I never accepted that I was facing one. I just took things as it came ,still does the same thing. I dont give a damn how the outcome is one way or other.

So am I happy or not. I guess I am happy, and happier than most people around. I still live for myself. I am free. Nothing and noone binds me. Moreover Happiness is about attitude. I dont need anything to be happy I think. When a person becomes happy over a something new he got or some achievement of his, its usually related to his percieved increase in social acceptance. Because happiness is linked a lot to relations.

Ah crap, I get even irritated by myself. What am I supposed to do about that. I get irritated by almost everyone sometime or the other.

4 Comments:

Blogger Govind V said...

I am really afraid I may just turn out to be just like you.....hope not:(

3:05 PM  
Blogger Aravind.V said...

lol....:D

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Divya said...

"My mind is so totally blank."

"Ah crap, I get even irritated by myself. What am I supposed to do about that. I get irritated by almost everyone sometime or the other."

Same pinch!

:D

Goin crazy!

3:51 PM  
Anonymous OCFragger said...

Hmm. Not really same.

The new achievement + social acceptance thing is true when it comes to me, but I hate being that way.

Nowadays, I don't feel much. I worked hard and became top of my class. It was "good" for sometime, but now, my mind can't seem to ride on that wave anymore.

6:33 PM  

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