Cut-Out
Yes I am in this "supposedly" great campus which is made in such a way to boost the self ego of so called wannabe software engineer. I have this host of facilities to while away time. In that respect its really great that I keep doing something or the other everytime.
Some times I feel sick about the way people go about their life in this kinda environment.
But even more so now I am feeling cut-out from world. I dont exactly know whats happening around. Afore I used to be a news savvy person. I always wanted to know what was happening around.
Now I try to keep tabs on things by reading bbcnews feed through google reader. Suddenly it hit me that the news was completely US-centric so totally that I felt really sick of reading of those stupid news article. Why the hell should such an autonomous body go to such pathetic depths!.
When you have your hands full with other things to think about, you wont care about whats happening in this world. The reality of the things wont hit you. You are safe from everything you are cusioned by the salary you get and the support of your family and friends. Life takes on an entirely new dimension. As of now I aint even travelling daily except in this campus. This means that I am out of sync with this world.
Whats funnier is not only am I cut-out of this world I some times feel immense solitude in this campus. I dont feel part of any thing. Sometimes I feel so aloof from everybody cant even empathize with their emotions :).
I wanna talk. I want to express myself. I dont do that well when I am writing. As far as writing is concerned I type too slowly for my thoughts. I kinda mix it up and make a sphagetti of it all!. Which I dont think even I might decipher at a later date.
One of the reasons that was in back of my mind when I came to such an environment was to learn more about people and how they behave, given the fact that each of them are kinda similar entities. Yes I did learn a bit probably will learn a lot more but not much as I hoped.
No I dont know much about humans, I am only an eager student. As a matter of fact thats one of the things that really interest me nowadays. I loved physics, still love it in a way I guess. But now its the way people act and react and respond thats more interesting to me. I would love to learn the patterns or the chaos in such a behavioural system.
Living here sometimes the question pops in my mind what exactly am I doing around here. What am I gonna do with my "LIFE". Only thing I can say is I am living it and waiting for death. Death will neither liberate me or end anything. Its just the end of possibilities of my awareness as I know it now.
I just want to BE. Its that state of being that I am enjoying throughout my life and have fell totally in love with it.
Some times I feel sick about the way people go about their life in this kinda environment.
But even more so now I am feeling cut-out from world. I dont exactly know whats happening around. Afore I used to be a news savvy person. I always wanted to know what was happening around.
Now I try to keep tabs on things by reading bbcnews feed through google reader. Suddenly it hit me that the news was completely US-centric so totally that I felt really sick of reading of those stupid news article. Why the hell should such an autonomous body go to such pathetic depths!.
When you have your hands full with other things to think about, you wont care about whats happening in this world. The reality of the things wont hit you. You are safe from everything you are cusioned by the salary you get and the support of your family and friends. Life takes on an entirely new dimension. As of now I aint even travelling daily except in this campus. This means that I am out of sync with this world.
Whats funnier is not only am I cut-out of this world I some times feel immense solitude in this campus. I dont feel part of any thing. Sometimes I feel so aloof from everybody cant even empathize with their emotions :).
I wanna talk. I want to express myself. I dont do that well when I am writing. As far as writing is concerned I type too slowly for my thoughts. I kinda mix it up and make a sphagetti of it all!. Which I dont think even I might decipher at a later date.
One of the reasons that was in back of my mind when I came to such an environment was to learn more about people and how they behave, given the fact that each of them are kinda similar entities. Yes I did learn a bit probably will learn a lot more but not much as I hoped.
No I dont know much about humans, I am only an eager student. As a matter of fact thats one of the things that really interest me nowadays. I loved physics, still love it in a way I guess. But now its the way people act and react and respond thats more interesting to me. I would love to learn the patterns or the chaos in such a behavioural system.
Living here sometimes the question pops in my mind what exactly am I doing around here. What am I gonna do with my "LIFE". Only thing I can say is I am living it and waiting for death. Death will neither liberate me or end anything. Its just the end of possibilities of my awareness as I know it now.
I just want to BE. Its that state of being that I am enjoying throughout my life and have fell totally in love with it.
posted by aravind at 11:39 AM
1 Comments:
wow aravind! i know exactly wht ur talkin bout..felt it in my short spell at psg.. thre is definitely more to life.. ull figure it out.. peace out :).tc
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